final blog

I enjoyed Marvelle's blog solely because he introduced me to jerkin. Jerkin is most likely the goofiest dance to come out since the stanky leg. For more info see the blog of Marvelle

http://sfmarvelle415.blogspot.com/


I also enjoyed reading neil's blog. I always think people from other countries are more interesting than other people. And Neil is a white African, so thats like 2 things in one. It's interesting to hear what other places are like though http://whiteafrican19.blogspot.com/

Twitter

I've never heard of this twittering thing before but it sounds pretty gay. Why would anyone do such a thing? I think this guy just makes himself sound like an idiot. How is he just not gonna have a phone? He seems like one of those guys that tried Myspace and didn't like it cuz nobody wanted to be his friend which would explain why he feels so strongly against this whole twittering thing. Would I twitter? Maybe thats why he doesn't have a phone either, nobody wants to talk to him. I see what he is saying though. When I was younger, before this whole spell check phenomena took place I used to be able to spell pretty well, now I can't spell at all. Oh well

Coon Man

Gross man. Raccoons eats trash, so thats like eating trash. I'd definitely hunt for something else before raccoons if I was going hungry. Rodents. If I was really poor I think I would wear silly clothes and collect cans all day in order to turn them into those can places that give you money for cans. Thats how I've always seen it done. It seems much better than hunting and eating rodents.

Modern Convenience

If I had to give up a modern convenience I would have to give up video games. That would suck, but I believe I would be much more productive if I wasn't distracted by video games. I usually play video games when I'm supposed to be doing something. It definitely makes it much easier to procrastinate with those things around. Everything else seems pretty vital.

Crazy Mike, Hannah Banana, and Crackhead Bree

I've got to say, I've never really been a big April fooler. I didn't fool anyone this April, or the previous. I'm sure I've pulled some practical jokes on people though. Hmmmm, this ones kinda funny. Like in summer of 07, which is right after I graduated, my buddy had a couple people over at his house, nothin crazy. Anyways these 2 girls ended up spending the night. My friends and I are big on funny nicknames and these 2 take the cake. Hannah Banana and Crackhead Bree. I'll have you know that at the time of this occurence Crackhead Bree had yet to receive her current nickname, which she received for crackhead like behavior. Hannah Banana was just that girls myspace name. I don't know why, but whenever I hear the name Hannah Banana it always makes me laugh, I guess you would have to know the girl. Anyways it was me, my friend Cody, and my friend Matt (the one I mentioned earlier with the hot mom) and the 2 girls. We were all in Cody's room and they were asking for a ride home, and my friend Cody didn't want to give them one. We didn't really know them that well, they just kinda appeared at Cody's house and got left behind in the most annoying way possible. Cody's dad was home at the time and he started to make his way downstairs for some reason. The girls asked who it was and me and Matt could tell that this occurence made them nervous. We seized the oppurtunity. I asked Cody if that was his dad, it was. "That's Cody's dad," I whispered, "he's fuckin crazy" My eyes were wide with fear and I dragged the crazy out for intenseified emphasis. "Really? Are you serious?"
"Crazy Mike?" Matt chimed in, "that motherfucker does not play!"
"Will he care if we're here?" The response evoked a look in Cody's direction from me and Matt. Cody was very into his PS3 but he knew what Matt and I were up to; he nodded his head and said that they should prolly leave before his dad sees them. "Is he going to say anything to us?" We could tell that we had them, they were turning from nervous to scared. I'll take the time to say that Mr. Mike is a very calm and laid back individual, and he wouldn't have gave a damn about those girls. Luckily Matt was quick on his feet and thought up Crazy Mike, which is the nickname we still use for Cody's dad to this day because its so ironic.
"He's fuckin crazy!" Matt whispered hysterically, "Cody will be lucky if he doesn't get his ass beat!" Crackhead Bree and Hannah Banana looked to Cody, who was still very into his PS3, (I'm pretty sure these girls took this as sign of Cody's discomfort on the subject of his father though) and then looked to me, fear blazing in their eyes and shining from their faces. I nodded at them with a touch of sympathy to back the claims of Matt, and said "Why do you think we call him Crazy Mike?"
"Cody can you take us before your dad sees us?" Up to this point Cody had only communicated in small burst of speech and grunts and never took his eyes off the TV. Cody paused, and looked the girls in the eyes, "My dad won't let me leave." (which was completely untrue, Cody does what he wants) He then began playing his game again. Cody sealed the deal. I'm sure if those bitches hadn't been so scared, or dumb, they would have realized that Cody was full of shit. It was hard for me and Matt not to laugh, cuz Cody doesn't usually partake in these kinds of things. He wasn't very convincing, but he pulled it off. Anyways, so now these 2 girls are in this guys house that they had only met a few times before and they're literally cowering in his room for fear of his psychotic dad, appropiatley named Crazy Mike. "What should we do?!" Mike was downstairs by now and, no doubt, lurking somewhere outside Cody's room. Matt opened the door and began to shove the girls out "Go!" he said very frantically, but they were much to fear stricken to go out, plus I pulled them back halfway through.
"Crazy Mike is out there!" I said. These girls were so scared they had no idea what to do. Thinking quickly I pushed them behind the door and held my finger to my lips to keep them quiet. Matt added to the hysteria by signaling them to crouch down. They did. The looks on their faces were priceless. It was so funny because these 2 girls were crouched in corner, scared shitless and literally trembling of fear from a man that would have offered to make them pancakes if he had saw them. Me matt and Cody went out to make sure if the coast was clear and shared a silent laugh with each other; Matt made sure to push the door up against the girls on the way out. Crazy Mike wasn't around so we went back and got them and snuk them out Codys backdoor and told them to go straight through the woods and that would bring them to the road. Naw, we only made them hide behind the door, but it was prolly one of the funniest tricks I've ever played on someone. After we came back in we told them it was straight but they would need to find a ride really soon and they started calling and texting like everyone in their phones. They got a ride, I'm pretty sure they snuck around the side of the house to get out though. Good stuff.

Goverment Intervention

Hmmm, I really don't know what to make of that article. I don't care that much really. I don't pay taxes, or anything, so I don't feel as if its very important to me. It might affect me in some way I don't know about or something, but I've yet to discover it. Capitalism is supposed to be privately owned and separate from the state though, so I wouldn't really say it fits into the whole American history thing. But the companies asked for the money, so yeah. I guess thats cool.

Moonshine dude

This guy has a gnarly beard. And he really knows how to rock the jean jacket. He looks like a giant leprechaun. 18 months is a long time, but if I was this guy I would have tried to run away before I killed myself. He already looks like he's been hiding in the woods for 20 years. I wonder if that is the lawyer's most interesting client he's come across. I bet he smells bad too, and has a jacked up yellow grill. Your picturesque hillbilly.

More stuff

Its 2 am, and I'm still blogging away. I almost feel as if I'm missing out on stuff, but I'm sure there isn't really anything going on. My phone hasn't really rung that much tonight, if there was any crunkness going on, I'd know about it. I still hate that feeling of thinking I'm missing out though. I don't like being lonely either, but I try to fill that with staying busy all the time. And by staying busy I really mean doing pointless shit that keeps my mind from wandering. Activities such as this allow alot of wandering of the mind though. I guess I feel like I'm missing out cuz I'm lonely. I can't really say I'm too familliar with the opposite feeling. When I was 16 I got sent to this boarding school in Puerto Rico for 10 months. I'll go as far to say that I'm a recovering addict, and I used to partake in some other illegal activities. Bet you never would have guessed that, but maybe it all makes sense after reading my blogs ha. 19 seems a really young age to give yourself such a label, but shit happens. I'm kinda glad I got it outta the way early, spending all your money on coke isn't that big of a deal when your a kid(cuz you don't have alot to begin with), but it could be a bit more drastic when you're grown. Anyways, now that you have sufficient background info, that boarding school blew hard. It was an all boy school in this ghetto ass part of Puerto Rico, but if you've ever been you'd know that all of Puerto Rico is ghetto. Anyways, when I first got there in Feb of 06 there was 18 kids including me, but by the time I left in Jan of 07 there was only like 9 or 10. Anyways, we were on lockdown 24/7. We were lucky if we got 45 minutes outside for P.E. And they wouldn't let us workout, and we ate equal portioned amounts of food like we were on a diet and we couldn't share or anything. So needless to say I was a pale skinny bitch by the time I left that place. Everyday was planned out down to 30 minute increments. You literally could not do anything without asking permission. If you wanted to use the bathroom, you asked. If you wanted to say anything at all to the person sitting next to you, you asked. If you dropped your pencil, and it rolled outta reach, you had to ask permission to get up and get it. I mean you had to ask permission for literally everything. We were placed into groups and we did everything as a group all day long. It was communism. No contact with old friends. No myspace or facebook or any internet at all, educational TV only for 30 minutes a night and those bastards would fast forward through the commercials, no other TV besides that, no phones. It was basically like jail, except with even more restrictions. It wasn't full of hard ass's or anything though. There wasn't really a time limit on how long you were there, it was based on good behavior. I should say perfect behavior. They watched you like hawks, waiting for you to make one tiny mistake then they would fuckin bash you for it. By time I got there there were other kids that had been there for 2 yrs already, so I realized real quick the importance of good behavior. I didn't wanna be there any longer than I had to. The program was based on this shit called PPC positive peer culture. The basic idea is that if everyone around you is doing good things, you'll have do so too in order to be accepted. The same is true for the opposite: All the cool kids are doing drugs... you know the rest. It was fuckin brainwashing. Your only options for getting home were through graduating the program(absolutely perfect behavior, and I mean PERFECT, or as close as you can get only 3 people out of like 100 had done it by the time I got there) or waiting till you were 18 and you could walk out the doors. The average age was 16 in this place, 2 yrs is a lifetime at that age. So in order to graduate you had to cohere to the program rules. PPC works like this, if you see someone in your group is having a problem, you correct them, because your "helping" them. By correct I mean, you call them out on whatever they're doing wrong in front of everybody, because remember, you have to ask permission before you can do anything. This creates an unbelievable amount of drama. It's very circular and confusing, I'll break it down like this though: If you see someone doing something wrong you snitch on them, to make sure they are following the rules, because the only way to get outta there is to follow the rules perfectly. This upset quite a bit of people because they figured if they never got corrected the staff would think they are doing good. Why not just not say anything and act like everything is perfect? Well, we tried that, but it blew up in our faces, plus the staff are trained to look for that. And then nobody gets home at all. Its very hard for me to explain, but like I said its brainwashing and thats prolly got alot to do with it. You all police each other, and the best cop (or what many considered the biggest and most selfish asshole) was the leader of the group. I was that guy for a while. As you can imagine its very hard to get there, because you have to be almost perfect, call out all every mistake you see all day long every day, and there is alot of politics along the way because it is somewhat voted upon who the leader is. I've got it. We were all brainwashed to believe that the only way to get home was to graduate, in order to do so we had to make sure we followed the rules to T so we would call each other out to remind of us when were making mistakes and this way we'll remember and not make them in the future. That was a perfect PPC world, but some kids got really mad when you called them out cuz it would mess up their little act, so there was always that discomfort. I did what I had to do, but sometimes I kinda feel like a douche. I arose to the leader position faster than anyone else ever had, so that either makes me a badass or desperate to get home. I like to think a little of both, more of the first one. I just really wanted to go home. I don't think I've ever worked so hard for anything. It was just me there. I couldn't really trust anyone with my real thoughts, if I told anyone how much I hated that place and that I was just doing all this bullshit, being there little puppet, just to get home, I never would have made it. It sucks to pretend for a year. That place taught me that sometimes there are just things you never tell anyone even if you trust someone with your life. Gosh, talk about trust issues. This shits a deep as a well.

Fritzl

Thats kinda gross. I remember hearing about this story a couple years back, or whenever it happened. How are you just gonna rape your own daughter, and then have kids with her? Now this guy makes me sick. I'd kill myself if I did something like that. He should be stoned, and not by pot, by sharp heavy objects and stones. Life in prison's pretty bad, especially for rape and all that other shit he did, cuz he'll catch alot of shit for it in there. I've hard that the whole "bitch" thing in prison is only an American epidemic, but I dunno, maybe your boy Fritzl will find out. I've never been, so I wouldn't know. I'm sure they got a spot in hell for this guy, though, with jumbo pineapples. Imagination. Europeans are weird as shit man, for some reason everytime I hear this story it makes me think of those 2 horny Europeans from Super Troopers. I'm completely positive that every person from europe acts exactly like that. Which is why I plan on going there, drugs, sex (with women of course) and fast cars, what else do you need? Money I guess, and if your an old Austrian you need a sex slave in your cellar. This dude is just uncouth man.

Movie review

Psh, all those people are idiots man. Those 3 websites gave Crash an average rating of 78. Crash is much crunker than a 78. This says nothing about the quality of the movie, but more about to douche-ness of the critiques. I'm not going to lie, I took those ratings very personally. I really didn't even read that many reviews though, it was like blasphemy. The bad ones I did read though seemed bias and rude. It seemed as if some critics sucked as much emotion from the film as possible and just trashed it, much like the way I attempted to demonize The Boss. One critic said, in so many words, that the director captured only some of the emotions that the real epidemic portrays, but the racism is equally emitted by all characters, black, white, asian, or whatever. It also says "if what we see in Crash were statistically significant, that would mean that everybody in L.A. is being racist in every tense situation all day long, and it doesn't take much experience of life in the diverse big cities of this country to know that isn't right. The L.A. of Crash is a distorted scale model of the city that Haggis treats as if it were the city itself." (Alan Dale) Personally though, it's a movie. Dale does bring up a good point about how the movie is shot from a very realist, or naturalist point of view, yet the movie is unrealistically coincidental. But it's a movie, and of course the director was not portraying the actors in this film as proportional representatives of L.A. citizens. It's simply a story of how people interact with each other. Dale does go on to say that even though the movie was a few strides short of the masterpiece it was attempting to become, it was directed well.

Stuff

So I got a new car Friday. It's pretty sweet. 04 Grand Cherokee Special Edition. Its not a big deal or anything, its only fully loaded. I don't think I'm going to far when I say its a G ride. I'm gonna have to throw some bump in the trunk though. I want some of that shit that'll make me deaf by the time I'm 30, thats how you know if your crunk or not. Anyways, its 11:52 on a Saturday and I'm fucking blogging. I worked today for like the first time since December. Cleaned some pools. Neither I nor my buddy know how to drive a stick so we got to whip my bosses King Ranch 250 today. That thing is a G ride right there. Then after I worked I went back to my friends house and helped him put a new liner in his pool, then I came home and feel asleep for a little, now here I am. I should be out and about, whippin my mobile and honking at attractive womens, but I'm here. I can't drive my damn Jeep anyways, which pisses me off. I'll go ahead and divulge a secret, I got a DUI (don't drink and drive, and if you do, don't speed) when I was 17 and for some reason the insurance company is saying that I never got my license re-instated from that incident. Total bull man, I just got another new license like 2 months ago. So now its in my sisters name and shit, which kinda makes me think her and my mom are plotting against me to steal my car away from me. I'll rumble in the streets if they try any funny bussiness though. I keep it real man.

Death camp guy blog thing

First off, this guy totally represents for my death camp, Buchenwald. Now that that's outta the way, this guy is a flippin douche. I don't even know what he's blabbering on about in his silly little blog, but I sure as hell don't like it. I don't like his tone or demeanor either. I might fight this guy if I ran into him on the street. But seriously he does make a good point about the whole reality TV thing. I mean, did anyone really ever love New York? That chick is gross anyways if you ask me; she looks like a dog. I think the Sureal Life and all that with the old celebrities is pretty bad too. It must be kinda like the equivalent of a 10 year high school reunion for celebrities. I'm having trouble thinking about how to best explain that last sentence so just think about it for a minute. All the normal people tune in and compare how much better their lives are compared to that of former celebrities, talk about an ego boost. Fear Factor is an older show but it's a good example of what this dude was talkin about. I mean, people have eaten bugs and like bull penis and stuff, thats pretty gross. Shows do seem to be progressively evolving into weird carnival side shows, but I don't think it will get too crazy before some christian group feels the need to assert their authority. As far as this guys style goes, I don't like it. He comes off like too much of an old square, and he's not really that funny if you ask me. Perhaps he is not juvenile enough for my taste though. The guy makes it seem as if all reality TV is shit. Most of it is, but what about those diamonds in the dirt, such as The Pick Up Artist? If you don't know, The Pick Up Artist is a breakthrough show that all (85%) dudes watch in order to sharpen their game, though most would never admit it. It centers around like 10 or so losers who all seem have to very dried up salivary glands, which can make it quite difficult to spit game. They are all schooled by a hippie pimp who calls himself Mystery. Really though, this is another great example of what he was talking about. These guys on the pick up artist are displayed as total losers could never get a date without money, trying to learn how to woo hot chicks. We can all tune in and watch them humiliate themselves instead of us doing the same thing. Death Camp Divas sounds promising though, as long as its shot on location in my death camp.

Bloggin it up

Man, I've been blogging hard these past couple of days. Check my blog work. I'm a very sarcastic guy. Sometimes I'm so sarcastic people don't even realize it. It's small things like I'll look at people like I'm trying really hard to figure out what the hell is wrong with them (or like they're idiots) when they talk to me, and then when I hear satisfactory answers I just kinda say things like good stuff or right on and nod my head. If you didn't know me very well you wouldn't think much about it. Its really for my own amusement, but every now and then people get a kick out of it. I really like to talk shit to people and mess with them (especially when I've been drinking), in a funny way of course, so I guess thats my passive way of doing it. I do it so well people don't even notice. The best part about it though is when people kinda catch on and think I'm fucking with them, like they have a hunch, but it is too premature to act on. They kinda rear their head back and look at me very inquisitively because they don't know what to say. Then I just look at them with an even more intense "your an idiot" look, and let an awkward silence build before I stop. Unfortunately thats only happened a handful of times, you'd have to see me in action to know whats up. I kinda write for my own enjoyment, because most of the things I say are really stupid and inside jokes, (half the time after I post these things I feel like an idiot and fight with myself about whether I should take them down or not) and I don't really expect anyone to understand me, but I enjoy when other people like my stuff. I don't like to write boring things. It's boring. I believe people should enjoy what they're reading, so I attempt to make what I write enjoyable. My friend said I have a white-boy fro the other day, good stuff. Sometimes I brush all my hair back and fluff up the back a little and it looks like I have a righteous mullet. I'm really going for like Fabio style hair, but I feel like I would have to be much swoler than I am to pull that look off. It would be crunk though, especially while I'm cleaning pools. Hair flowing in the wind, all tan, and the small and flashys. My boss said he would fire me if I came to work in Speedo's but he lets me get away with small and flashys. I call them this because they are small, like the size of boxers and they come up like 3 or 4 inches above my knees, and they're very bright shades of red orange and blue, flashy. It's looks funny as hell when I wear them cuz I'm so tall, but the ladies love it.

crunk movie

Well, if I had to pick my favorite movie of all time I'd have to say Terminator 2: Judgment Day. I mean, its prolly the best movie ever made. But if I had to pick a crunk movie that everyone else should watch, I might have to say Crash. It won film of the year in 2006, I think. It's about like 6 or so people that live L.A. and how their lives are affected by racism. The cinematograhpy in Crash is pretty sweet. Instead of just cutting from scene to scene the camera would simply pan left or right or turn around onto the next scene. In this way it makes it seem as if all the characters are close by, or that it is a very small world. For example, one scene ends with the camera close up on a black Licoln Navigator and the next scene begins with the same close up on a different black Naviagator and the camera pans right and shows Terrance Howard's face. The cinematography in this movie is very effective because it seems to send a message. In my own opinion the camera work is saying that we are all very close to each other, whether we realize it or not. Think about it this way: how many times have you seen that one person walking around campus, or the city, or anywhere? You know what I mean, for some reason there is just that one person that you always see around. A complete and total stranger, but you recogonize and know that persons face, just because. Maybe that only happens to me, but I remember peoples faces pretty well, and it just blows my mind in how many places I see the same people, even if I'm in some random place. Funny story, like a year ago there was this girl that I always used to see at the G.A. State gym and we always seemed to catch each others eye. Anyways I was late to class like 2 weeks ago and I was in a hurry and I turned a corner and we walked right into each other. Small world. I digress. The actors did an excellent job also, even Ludacris. They capture the emotion very well and they unleash it even better. Crash really shows you how connected our lives are, even if it doesn't seem that way. It's one of those movies that makes you want to change your life. It has a very good message: we must all get along, cuz you never know when that total stranger you see all the time is going to help you out.

Dream job? Not exactly

If I could actually create my own job I would be sure to make sure that it is a simple job with high profit yields. By simple I mean doing little to nothing from day to day, or something that's easy and I enjoy doing in moderation with little or no deadlines and/or pressure. And by high profit yields I mean an butt load of money. My options are slim. My friend and I have often considered making funny T-shirts. One for instance might read "She's like my black momma" then underneath the words would be an image of your typical picturesque, sweet, caring, cookie baking, black grandmother. I imagine she would look much like The Oracle from The Matrix, or Tyler Perry's Madea.


Unfortunately, though, the market for such shirts is rapidly declining. To venture into such a field of business would never support the type of lifestyle I intend to live. The life of a moonshiner seems quite glamorous but I myself don't know how to create moonshine, and in order to produce it on a mass scale I would need a safe location and many supplies, and that would take alot of work. I'm not a fan of alot of work. I also don't like learning new skills, which explains why I have only had 3 actual jobs. My current boss is a prime example of where I would like to be. My boss owns a pool company and employs 4, although he has been considering adding a 5th to the team, and works about 3 days a week, sometimes 4. The days he does work he gets up about 7 or 8 sits around for a few hours and he may work for 3 or 4 hours and calls it a day. And those are only service calls, so if nothing ever breaks, he really never works, yet he makes at least 70,000 a year. Genius. The man ignores customer calls for weeks at time; no deadlines there. Also, he does little to no work from day to day; he really has perfected the system. Unfortunately there is a bit of school involved in owning a pool company, but water chemistry can't be that difficult if my boss could do it. So I would create a pool company near where I live and I would steal all my bosses customers because most of them are so fed up with his crap (avoiding/not returning calls, saying he will fix something within the week and not doing it for months, not ordering parts) that if it weren't for his low rates or personal ties they would have switched companies long ago. I would run a company like his except I wouldn't screw around when it comes to customer service, and I would run it much more efficiently so I would make more money, and I would not be as big of a douche as he is. Then I would also make funny T-shirts on the side, but not before going to shops I would attempt to sell them to and stealing and or ruining all the other funny shirts they have in stock. This would ensure the buyability of my product.

karaoke

I've heard of people being passionate about their music, but that's pretty crazy. I just sat here for like 10 minutes trying to think what was going through those peoples head's to assault somebody because of a song; nothing came to mind. Maybe all those people were just crazy or something. I can't think of anything that would motivate me to do something like that under those circumstances. People are crazy though. Separately karaoke and booze make people violent, but combining the two draws forth a rage like no other. Everyone knows that. To me it seems like it all boils down to people not being able to get along. There have been times when I've almost gotten in fights over video games. People feel especially strong about sports too; don't even get me started about 4 square. Most of the time the people I've had problems with while doing these things were difficult to get along with in the first place. The author of the karaoke article brought up a good point about the way people connect music and identities. If you can see the way someone dresses and the music that person listens to, you can kinda guess what they're gonna be like. I suppose when you sing you're really putting yourself out there, because many songs are just talking about emotions and what-knot. Also, you have to sing with emotion, and if you suck at singing and someone calls you out, it may very well drive you to murder someone's entire family. Perhaps that's why the karaoke evokes such violence, people are revealing their emotions and being rejected; it hurts when someone makes fun of your feelings, especially if you're drunk and belligerent. I know that when I hear heavy metal, it makes me pist. I hate it, it makes me wanna fight the source of the noise so I can make it stop. Maybe other people can relate to that feeling, but due to different music. I'm pretty sure if I was drunk and someone started playing heavy metal I would have to say something rude to that person about their choice in music. Feeling like his personality has been insulted, instead of his choice of music, the Heavy Metal Kid would surely lash out in anger and we would consequently rumble in the streets. People just need to learn to get along.

stuff

Yeah. I just read my entry about springsteen. wow. Sometimes I get carried away when I write things. I'm pretty sure I don't have opinions that strong about anything. Just for the record I don't really think he is the Anti-christ or anything. He's really not even that bad of a guy. And as for nike, I'm really not even sure about that whole child labor thing. If it is children making clothes, then they're pretty good at it. They're almost like a bunch of little prodigies; if only I had possesed such skill at that age. I would look it up and correct myself, but I don't really feel like it. I'll be ill informed for the moment. In arguments I tend to pick one side and then blindly defend it, I was told that's a good lawyer trait. I guess so. It's really more of a combination of stubborness and laziness. I'm too stubborn to change my mind once I've come up with a satisfactory topic choice. Then I'm also too lazy to not be stubborn enough to do anything once I've realized I have no idea what I'm talking about. It's kinda like running around in the dark with a very dim flashlight (the dim flashlight does not indicate my lack of overall intelligence, it just indicates my willingness to bring extra battories and/or another flashlight along). I suppose an easier metaphor would be getting lost, but instead of asking for directions, you just kind of keep going and telling yourself that you know where you're going, and turning around at this point would be pointless, seeing as how you realized you were lost like 30 miles ago and your most likely halfway to wherever you're going by now so the most logical thing to do, next to stopping at the next gas station and asking for directions, would be to keep driving straight till you see a road sign that reveals your location and then you can correct your course from there. It usually never gets that far though. Most of the time someone conviently bust out his/her phone and gets directions from something that wont judge your feeble navigation skills. Cuz those are soooo important in our society. I mean all the girls want a guy with skills: numbchuck skills, bowstaff skills, computer hacking skills. Also, my lips hurt real bad. Sorry, those are both from Napoleon Dynamite. If boring ass movies had they're own like group of nominations, Napoleon Dynamite would win best movie of all time. Anyways, springsteen isn't that bad of a guy, I really don't hate him or anything. I'd say I nothing him. I feel indifferent towards him. If he were to die tomorrow I wouldn't really care either way. The only impact he's ever had on my life was an 85 on my paper. It might have been 89, I can't remember cuz it was somewhat difficult to read. And those little prodigies at Nike jacked my up sweat pants, the thread is beginning to come undone on the the check. Hmm, I'll write an angry letter and hopefully the appropriate child will be beaten. I love the smell of appropriate 3rd world justice in the morning. Speaking of angry letters, I took my damn Jeep to Advanced Auto Parts last week to get a new battery, and then the fuckin idiot crossed my cables which fried my alternator and now the douche bag store manager says that I have no proof that my alternator was bad before I came up there. I was super pist when he said that to me. I'm pretty sure he was just dickin me around cuz I'm young though. My mom said we should write an angry letter, so I guess we'll do that. I'd like to exact some 3rd world justice on that guy though. Maybe I'll write an angry letter and tie it to my alternator and throw it through the store window.

Essay topic

Well, I hate research papers. So ideally I would pick something that I know alot about and therefore have very little research to do. Either that, or something with very easy research. If it was something I knew alot about, it would most likely be something that I enjoy. hmmm, you might say I'm full of shit, and thats cuz I am, but I think it would be cool to write a research paper on myself. Not a biography, but research my own life from an outside perspective, perhaps through interviews with other people. Now that I read that, it sounds like a biograpy, but it would be a research paper. Just a crazy idea I had. And its not cuz I'm super conceited or anything, just somewhat confident (kinda), it would be interesting to read other peoples papers. My next choice would be a video game of my choice or something. I'm a big fan of video games, so I know alot about them, kinda. I really don't know what you mean by how pracital (capable of being put to use or account; useful practical knowledge of French) is my choice, but I imagine if I say its very practical you'll let me write about it. I think my choice is very practical, James.

Weird things

I can think of a few weird things that have happened to me. The first thing that pops in my head is something that happened when I went 6 flags a couple a years ago. I went with my cousins and my sister, and my brother too I think. Anywho, we were about to go and get on the superman ride, but my brother and my cousins always seem to get lost at the most convenient times. I've always been pretty tall for my age and I learned early on that height is pretty good leverage when your looking for people. So I'm searching through the crowd, walking around, looking left and right, but I have no luck. I've never liked hats that much cuz not only do they mess up my beautiful hair, but they also make you go bald faster; I obvuiously wasn't wearing one at the time and the sun was in my eyes. Like most people do when the sun is in their eyes I cupped my hand over my brow in that kinda half salute sort of way that leaves your elbow sticking out to the side, and continued my search. By this time I was getting pist off; leave it to my stupid ass brother to get everyone lost. Anyways, I've still got the half salute thing going on and I'm somewhat annoyed at the fact that I wasn't on the ride. So I whipped around real fast due to the anger, half salute and all, and I elbowed this poor girl directly in the forehead. It wasn't just a little tap either; I elbowed the shit out of that poor girl like I was trying to fight her or something. Plus she was walking, so she walked right into it, which made it worse. I felt sooo bad, but at the same time I couldn't help but half laugh at the fact that I just elbowed some random hot chick in the head at 6 flags. I must have apologized like 100 times in 5 seconds. I think I might have dazed her a little bit too, cuz she stopped in tracks and held her forehead where I had bow'ed her. She never said anything back though, she just kinda looked at me like "What the fuck dude? What's your problem? How are you just gonna randomly elbow someone in the head?" and walked off. Altogher it was like a 15 second ordeal. I imagine it was much weirder for her though.
Another time, about a year ago, I'd like just rolled up to my buddy's house and it was like his hot mom's birthday or something, so they were throwin down. Needless to say I rolled up about half drunk and started messin with all these old people that were there. Steppenwolfe was playing and I was like "Hey old guy, I tottally banged the drummers daughter!" (thats what she told me anyways) The old guy applaueded my accomplishments in life. Then my friends mom walked up and I gave her a hug and started bullshitin with her. She was being extra friendly on this occasion due to the booze. I'm not 100 percent sure what we were talking about, but it must have been about my good looks or something because I remember being really flattered. Anyways, I tend to wave my hands around and what-knot during drunk dialouge, and I was putting on quite the performance while I was talking to my friends mom, Shelly (well she goes by Shelly but her real name is Suzanne. I always call her Suzanne cuz i think it sounds more classy). Well in the middle of me explaining why I don't have a girlfriend she leaned in to listen, and due to my hand gestures, I tottaly touched her titty. It wasn't like on the side of the boob or anything, it was like a full on stroke of the nipple, a hard stroke too. I instantly felt awkward, but I just kept talking hoping she wouldn't say anything. "I beleive you just touched my boob, young man." I laughed and said "Well Suzanne, they're kinda big, its hard not to." Then I apologized. You always have to seize the oppurtunity to lay the mack down; she does have a killer rack though. Well, it went from awkward to funny, so it was all good, plus I got to cop a feel. Anyways, I went inside right after cuz I had just groped my best friends mom then told her she had big boobs; I felt a little weird. My friend was getting dressed cuz we were about to go to a party. A few minutes passed and then Suzanne came in and asked her son what he was doing tonight. She was in the doorway to his room, and I was right behind her in the hallway echoing all the annoying things she was saying, and the bathroom was directly to our right. He pushed her out of his room so he could get dressed and then Suzanne whipped around, grabbed me, dragged me into the bathroom and locked the door behind us. Holy shit. My adrenaline was pumping, "I guess I rubbed her the right way," I thought. I thought she was gonna rape me or something. I'm not gonna lie, I was scared. She was like 40 at the time and I was 18. I'd always said I would totally bone Suzanne if I had the oppurtunity, but this was weird. Her son, my best friend, was like 10 feet away in the next room. I looked at her for a second, unable to conceal my shock, and said, "uhhhh?" Unfortunatley she started to interrogate me about my plans for the night. My friend isn't a bad guy, he just has horrible luck and gets in trouble for stupid stuff, so he had been to jail a few times. She was worried about her son getting in trouble, and since I'm somewhat more responsible than all my other friends, she wanted me to make sure that didn't happen. Now my friend was outraged, banging on the door, like what the hell is wrong with my mom. He had no idea what was happening. I told her I that I had her back, and we talked for about 2 or 3 minutes. The whole time my friend was banging on the door, yelling and stuff, and everyone now and then Suzanne would be like "Shut up Matthew!" After I had assured her I wouldn't let anything happen to her son, Suzanne unlocked the door and realeased me. Matt was pist. He dragged her off and they had a little talk, and then we went to that party. Damn, and I thought touching her boob was awkward.

9/11 songs

Springsteen kinda makes me sick. His heart might have been in the right place, but fuck him anyways. With the record sales he received and concert revenues he easily made a million dollars. Its kinda hard to write about this without sounding repetitive, considering that I wrote a 4 page paper about it already. Why would anyone want to support something like this? I find it funny that the majority of Americans that would buy an album that is profiting off the death of thousands of Americans, are the same people that would refuse to buy shoes from Nike because of child labor in another country. I'm gonna be honest, its shitty that little kids in other countries make some of our clothes, but I'm still going to buy them. It doesn't make sense to me. The Rising is a very christian-esque album, and this is just my personal experince, but christians are like the most self righteous judgemental people i've ever met, no offense or anything. Shouldn't they be judging springsteen for his outright and blatant greed? Think about it this way: it took the death of thousands of Americans in order for Springsteen to make The Rising, and consequently make hundreds of thousands of dollars. And thats ok that he made profits from dead men women and children. But god forbid buying clothes that were made from a child that most likely thinks he's helping his family live a better life. I'm not saying I agree with either practice, I'm just trying to put the hiprocracy front and center.






This is how Springsteen makes his money





And this is how Nike makes theirs.

I don't really know what to write about today. If I had my choice I'd say I don't feel like writing about anything and that would be my entry. I don't think that would go over with James to well though. I like hippie stoner music. Thats what I'm listening to now, it's pretty soothing. I'm not stoned right now or anything, but if it wasn't so looked down upon in our society I prolly would be. Not the last blog I wrote, but the one before that, I was somewhat tipsy. I went to this new bar in Senoia, Maguire's, and got drunk and played music trivia. It was pretty fun. Originally me and my friend planned to just go in and drink a pitcher each, eat and leave. But then we learned that it was mostly old school white people music trivia and it was on like donkey kong. Next to hippie stoner music and hardcore gangster rap, old school white people music is my favorite. Anyways we named ourselves The Finaglers (To Finagle is to obtain something by means of trickery), cuz it sounds funny and we we're both under 21, but thats another story. Anywho, we dominated 2nd place the whole way, which is pretty good considering we were the youngest in there and we had the smallest group. Then the bonus round got us. It was 10 songs by Phil Collins. I hate Phil Collins. And just because of that one traumatic trivia night, I hate him even more. Damn Phil collins. Me and my buddy went up to the trivia lady afterwards and talked shit to her for playing Phil Collins instead of a group we acutally know and like, like ELO. She said it was funny that we said that, cuz the bonus round was either gonna be Phil Collins or ELO. Damn that trivia lady and Phil Collins. We told her we were gonna come back next week and win though and she said she would play ELO for us. We are def going to finagle our way to victory this Sunday.

Things white people like

As most of you know by now, I'm white. I thought this whole list of things that white people like, was HILARIOUS. Alot of the stereotypes were right on target, but not all. It sounds like a black person wrote it cuz the more obvious stereotypes are very correct, but once the author goes deeper, or into the less obvious stereotypes, the facts get choppy. Nobody knows white people like white people. I love it though, I've already told my sister and most of my friends about it. The author should add another post and name it "This blog." It's obviously satirizing How-to manuals because the majority of the post say things like "mention this, and any white person will accept you." One of my favorites was #106 Facebook. It's soo true lol. I'm not gonna lie, when I get a new friend on Facebook the first thing I do is look through their pictures to see who they hang out with and what they do. If the pictures prove uninformative the next step is to look at their wall and see who they talk to. This makes it much easier to judge their social status, and determine if they're cool or not. It sounds so shallow when explained this way and I guess it kinda is. Another one I like #101 Being Offended. If you read the post, and then some of the user comments all these white people are like soooo offended by the post. It's hilarious. I have to say the one about Pea Coats (#111) is pretty funny too. There is this guy in my philosphy class that wears a pea coat, and when I saw it I thought, "Damn that looks classy, I need to get one." As far as cultural mores, I think it's saying that alot of white people are judgemental, and caught up in image. I know I am, but if you took Engl 1101 here at GA state in 08-09 and read An Orange Vest then you would know how I feel about treating people shitty. Haha, I guess you could say i get offended on the behalf of other people when they get treated badly.

presidental coverage

Who cares what kind of dog Barry's kids are going to get, honestly? I really dont care to know what kind of suits our presidents wear out and about. Yeah, it's a big deal that our president is black considering where our country has come from, but the guy shits just like the rest of us do, why is he such a big deal? He's portrayed like some kind of super hero. Why wasn't Bill Clinton such a big deal? I can't recall what breed of dog used to dump on the lawns of the white house while Bill was in office. I see where the media is coming from with this; there is sooo much negative news out there and its nice to see progressive action happening, but isn't there real news happening? The media should be reporting important things. Beleive it or not America's news is more biased than Al-Jazeera's, which most Americans consider an evil news group that spews nothing but propaganda from the Middle East. If you think like the majority of uninformed Americans then the previous fact must have shaken your confidence in Fox News. I would love to tell you all about the things that the media could have reported during the inaguration and a week before, but there was no one to tell me about any news the media could have reported during the inaguration or a week before. Its stuff like that that makes Americans ignorant (I almost spelled that last word wrong). Perhaps this is a product of negative media, but its a crazy world out there, even if there is too much "bad news" to handle we should hear about it. Currently, there is a large scale breakout of Salmonella in America. What if our media just decided to skip that story? Mothers all across this country would be making death-butter and jelly sandwhiches for their little ones. Would you rather want to know about a puppy being saved from a tree (don't ask how it got there), or a crazy murdering rapist that caused a gigantic prison break in your hometown? This is just my personal opinion, but I don't think learning about that poor puppy recovering from its traumatic tree experince will protect my family, even if it is the dog the Barack said his little girls can have.

Favorite album

I'm gonna have to say that my favorite album of all time (so far) is Chapter 2: World Domination, by Three 6 Mafia. Since Three 6 is my favorite group of all time you may think that this was an easy choice. Although due to Three 6 mafia's nearly 20 year career, and overwhelming library of music, it was not easy at all. Current Three 6 Mafia music could be described as mainstream, almost pop-rap, but 10 years ago, around the time they released World Domination, they attracted a completely different label of music. To put it in simplest terms, Chapter 2: World Domination is hardcore gangster rap, sometimes referred to as "Horrorcore Rap." Although this album is still quite hardcore it's a bit toned down from their previous albums which mostly focused on somewhat satanic and downright odd occurrences. This album still has some traces of satanism, but it mostly focuses on life, as they saw it, in Memphis TN. Before I go on anymore, let me take this time to say that I'm not psychotic devil worshiper and neither was Three 6 Mafia. The satanism was merely a bold attempt Three 6 tried early on to attract more listeners. Surprisingly it worked. Perhaps the shock factor is what attracted an audience; it is quite shocking to listen to some of their earlier work, I almost want to turn it off. I've even had other people in the car with me turn it off because it was too much for them. Like I was saying, this album is less hardcore than some of their previous works, but still hardcore. Many songs on Chapter 2 are still quite disturbing though. For instance one song labeled "I Aint'cha Friend" has brought a chill to my bones since I was 12 years old. The song begins with slow, eerie music. The strange, nearly frightened feelings the music provokes is intensefied when an incredibly deep, demonic laugh erupts from the silence. Once the horrific laughter stops, the voice begins to read a verse from the bible. Then the chorus drops: "I have to tell these bitches time and time again, I aint'cha fuckin friend, I'll do ya ass in." Uncomforting, to say the least. Not all songs are so dark and eerie though. "Late Nite Tip," which I suppose could be called a love song, has a totally different tone from that of "I Aint'cha Friend." "Late Nite Tip," has a very dramatic, sad beat and the lyrics of the chorus almost make you sympathetic for the artist in the song. I'm sure that my description of this album makes you never want to listen to anything by Three 6 Mafia, but they really are a very talented group. Their lyrics, metaphors, flow, and narration are incredible. Never have I enjoyed such vivid descriptions of decapitation before I heard Three 6. What i'm saying is, look at the delivery, not the content. Analyze it just like you would a poem, and you can't deny the skill that Three 6 posseses. I suppose this is my favorite album because it's a very clear representation of their transition from underground, cult-like music, to the mainstream group they have become today.

TV or??

I would definitely not give give up my right to vote for a big screen TV; that's just a stupid idea. Why would you give up a part of your freedom for some material object that any idiot could buy with a bit of hard work? Even though I've never voted before, the right to do so seems somewhat important. I don't think there would be such a fuss over things if it wasn't. I mean, the way people aruge about politics and what-knot you'd think it was the most important thing in the world to them. I think people just like to aruge about things like that. I'm not going to lie, I've also been caught up in such petty "Politcal Disscusions" before. I try not to get wrapped up in such disscussions, becuase I'm somewhat uniformed. Although, it's very hard to resist saying something when some moron, that knows even less than I do, trys to say something. Now that I think more about it, I might like aruging more than voting. I vote to aruge, if you will. I'm one of those people who secretly likes to control things, but not a control freak, its much different. For instance, whenever I go somewhere with my mom, I want to drive becasue that puts me in control. Small things like that. You may ask yourself, why is he telling me this? Well, aruging is a form of control, and control happens to be one of those things I like and aruging, voting and poltics, all seem to be hand in hand. Hopefully you've put all these things together and realize that I'm trying to say that aruging is a way to control someone. You may not be able to change your opponents opinion, or get anything done for that matter, while in the midst of a "Political Discussion," but you can always agravate the hell out of them. Now that I've gone back and read this, it makes me sound crazy. I'm not though, I promise...but the crazy ones always do. I suppose voting is also a form of control, though. I'm not going to explain that. So I hope my ranting has answered your question, but just incase, no I would not give up my control for a big screen TV; I think I could control my way into buying one.

me

Hey, my name is Brett Buchwald. People usually pronounce my name as Bush-wald, but it's actually pronounced Buck-wald. I was born July 31st 1989, in Orlando, Florida. I moved up to Newnan, GA when I was in 4th grade, and have lived there ever since. Newnan's about 30 minutes from Atlanta, if you drive fast. I'd have to say that Newnan is a pretty cool place. Other people from Newnan might disagree though. I used to think that way too, but you never really know how good you have it till all the good things you have are gone. My favorite kinds of music are classic rock and rap, I really don't like much else. Rock these days blows. It's always about killing yourself or trying to stop someone else from killing themselves, or some jackass telling everyone how much his life sucks. If you have a shitty life or you want to kill yourself, I don't really want to hear about it. I mean, what a buzz kill. Imagine being at this crunk party and some idiot runs in and blows his head off; something like that would definitely put a damper on the night. Some people say that rap is stupid and all they rap about is cars, hoes, clothes and bankrolls, and you can't forget that they are light footed homicidal drug dealers. I agree with them, but I would much rather hear about people celebrating than listen to a bunch of depressed people. Rap is kinda like gangster poetry; somebody said that to me once and I thought it was pretty deep. As me for, I'm pretty laid back. Most of the time I wont really say much unless you say something to me. I beleive its better to listen than to be heard. I'm not a shady guy though, I hate shady people, and liars too. Along with fake people, those are the 3 most aggravating traits I think anyone can posses. I think it would be pretty intense to go live in the jungle or something for a few years. Whenever I get in the car it officially becomes an adventure. I like to work out and party, even though the two kinda clash.
Peace.