final blog

I enjoyed Marvelle's blog solely because he introduced me to jerkin. Jerkin is most likely the goofiest dance to come out since the stanky leg. For more info see the blog of Marvelle

http://sfmarvelle415.blogspot.com/


I also enjoyed reading neil's blog. I always think people from other countries are more interesting than other people. And Neil is a white African, so thats like 2 things in one. It's interesting to hear what other places are like though http://whiteafrican19.blogspot.com/

Twitter

I've never heard of this twittering thing before but it sounds pretty gay. Why would anyone do such a thing? I think this guy just makes himself sound like an idiot. How is he just not gonna have a phone? He seems like one of those guys that tried Myspace and didn't like it cuz nobody wanted to be his friend which would explain why he feels so strongly against this whole twittering thing. Would I twitter? Maybe thats why he doesn't have a phone either, nobody wants to talk to him. I see what he is saying though. When I was younger, before this whole spell check phenomena took place I used to be able to spell pretty well, now I can't spell at all. Oh well

Coon Man

Gross man. Raccoons eats trash, so thats like eating trash. I'd definitely hunt for something else before raccoons if I was going hungry. Rodents. If I was really poor I think I would wear silly clothes and collect cans all day in order to turn them into those can places that give you money for cans. Thats how I've always seen it done. It seems much better than hunting and eating rodents.

Modern Convenience

If I had to give up a modern convenience I would have to give up video games. That would suck, but I believe I would be much more productive if I wasn't distracted by video games. I usually play video games when I'm supposed to be doing something. It definitely makes it much easier to procrastinate with those things around. Everything else seems pretty vital.

Crazy Mike, Hannah Banana, and Crackhead Bree

I've got to say, I've never really been a big April fooler. I didn't fool anyone this April, or the previous. I'm sure I've pulled some practical jokes on people though. Hmmmm, this ones kinda funny. Like in summer of 07, which is right after I graduated, my buddy had a couple people over at his house, nothin crazy. Anyways these 2 girls ended up spending the night. My friends and I are big on funny nicknames and these 2 take the cake. Hannah Banana and Crackhead Bree. I'll have you know that at the time of this occurence Crackhead Bree had yet to receive her current nickname, which she received for crackhead like behavior. Hannah Banana was just that girls myspace name. I don't know why, but whenever I hear the name Hannah Banana it always makes me laugh, I guess you would have to know the girl. Anyways it was me, my friend Cody, and my friend Matt (the one I mentioned earlier with the hot mom) and the 2 girls. We were all in Cody's room and they were asking for a ride home, and my friend Cody didn't want to give them one. We didn't really know them that well, they just kinda appeared at Cody's house and got left behind in the most annoying way possible. Cody's dad was home at the time and he started to make his way downstairs for some reason. The girls asked who it was and me and Matt could tell that this occurence made them nervous. We seized the oppurtunity. I asked Cody if that was his dad, it was. "That's Cody's dad," I whispered, "he's fuckin crazy" My eyes were wide with fear and I dragged the crazy out for intenseified emphasis. "Really? Are you serious?"
"Crazy Mike?" Matt chimed in, "that motherfucker does not play!"
"Will he care if we're here?" The response evoked a look in Cody's direction from me and Matt. Cody was very into his PS3 but he knew what Matt and I were up to; he nodded his head and said that they should prolly leave before his dad sees them. "Is he going to say anything to us?" We could tell that we had them, they were turning from nervous to scared. I'll take the time to say that Mr. Mike is a very calm and laid back individual, and he wouldn't have gave a damn about those girls. Luckily Matt was quick on his feet and thought up Crazy Mike, which is the nickname we still use for Cody's dad to this day because its so ironic.
"He's fuckin crazy!" Matt whispered hysterically, "Cody will be lucky if he doesn't get his ass beat!" Crackhead Bree and Hannah Banana looked to Cody, who was still very into his PS3, (I'm pretty sure these girls took this as sign of Cody's discomfort on the subject of his father though) and then looked to me, fear blazing in their eyes and shining from their faces. I nodded at them with a touch of sympathy to back the claims of Matt, and said "Why do you think we call him Crazy Mike?"
"Cody can you take us before your dad sees us?" Up to this point Cody had only communicated in small burst of speech and grunts and never took his eyes off the TV. Cody paused, and looked the girls in the eyes, "My dad won't let me leave." (which was completely untrue, Cody does what he wants) He then began playing his game again. Cody sealed the deal. I'm sure if those bitches hadn't been so scared, or dumb, they would have realized that Cody was full of shit. It was hard for me and Matt not to laugh, cuz Cody doesn't usually partake in these kinds of things. He wasn't very convincing, but he pulled it off. Anyways, so now these 2 girls are in this guys house that they had only met a few times before and they're literally cowering in his room for fear of his psychotic dad, appropiatley named Crazy Mike. "What should we do?!" Mike was downstairs by now and, no doubt, lurking somewhere outside Cody's room. Matt opened the door and began to shove the girls out "Go!" he said very frantically, but they were much to fear stricken to go out, plus I pulled them back halfway through.
"Crazy Mike is out there!" I said. These girls were so scared they had no idea what to do. Thinking quickly I pushed them behind the door and held my finger to my lips to keep them quiet. Matt added to the hysteria by signaling them to crouch down. They did. The looks on their faces were priceless. It was so funny because these 2 girls were crouched in corner, scared shitless and literally trembling of fear from a man that would have offered to make them pancakes if he had saw them. Me matt and Cody went out to make sure if the coast was clear and shared a silent laugh with each other; Matt made sure to push the door up against the girls on the way out. Crazy Mike wasn't around so we went back and got them and snuk them out Codys backdoor and told them to go straight through the woods and that would bring them to the road. Naw, we only made them hide behind the door, but it was prolly one of the funniest tricks I've ever played on someone. After we came back in we told them it was straight but they would need to find a ride really soon and they started calling and texting like everyone in their phones. They got a ride, I'm pretty sure they snuck around the side of the house to get out though. Good stuff.

Goverment Intervention

Hmmm, I really don't know what to make of that article. I don't care that much really. I don't pay taxes, or anything, so I don't feel as if its very important to me. It might affect me in some way I don't know about or something, but I've yet to discover it. Capitalism is supposed to be privately owned and separate from the state though, so I wouldn't really say it fits into the whole American history thing. But the companies asked for the money, so yeah. I guess thats cool.

Moonshine dude

This guy has a gnarly beard. And he really knows how to rock the jean jacket. He looks like a giant leprechaun. 18 months is a long time, but if I was this guy I would have tried to run away before I killed myself. He already looks like he's been hiding in the woods for 20 years. I wonder if that is the lawyer's most interesting client he's come across. I bet he smells bad too, and has a jacked up yellow grill. Your picturesque hillbilly.

More stuff

Its 2 am, and I'm still blogging away. I almost feel as if I'm missing out on stuff, but I'm sure there isn't really anything going on. My phone hasn't really rung that much tonight, if there was any crunkness going on, I'd know about it. I still hate that feeling of thinking I'm missing out though. I don't like being lonely either, but I try to fill that with staying busy all the time. And by staying busy I really mean doing pointless shit that keeps my mind from wandering. Activities such as this allow alot of wandering of the mind though. I guess I feel like I'm missing out cuz I'm lonely. I can't really say I'm too familliar with the opposite feeling. When I was 16 I got sent to this boarding school in Puerto Rico for 10 months. I'll go as far to say that I'm a recovering addict, and I used to partake in some other illegal activities. Bet you never would have guessed that, but maybe it all makes sense after reading my blogs ha. 19 seems a really young age to give yourself such a label, but shit happens. I'm kinda glad I got it outta the way early, spending all your money on coke isn't that big of a deal when your a kid(cuz you don't have alot to begin with), but it could be a bit more drastic when you're grown. Anyways, now that you have sufficient background info, that boarding school blew hard. It was an all boy school in this ghetto ass part of Puerto Rico, but if you've ever been you'd know that all of Puerto Rico is ghetto. Anyways, when I first got there in Feb of 06 there was 18 kids including me, but by the time I left in Jan of 07 there was only like 9 or 10. Anyways, we were on lockdown 24/7. We were lucky if we got 45 minutes outside for P.E. And they wouldn't let us workout, and we ate equal portioned amounts of food like we were on a diet and we couldn't share or anything. So needless to say I was a pale skinny bitch by the time I left that place. Everyday was planned out down to 30 minute increments. You literally could not do anything without asking permission. If you wanted to use the bathroom, you asked. If you wanted to say anything at all to the person sitting next to you, you asked. If you dropped your pencil, and it rolled outta reach, you had to ask permission to get up and get it. I mean you had to ask permission for literally everything. We were placed into groups and we did everything as a group all day long. It was communism. No contact with old friends. No myspace or facebook or any internet at all, educational TV only for 30 minutes a night and those bastards would fast forward through the commercials, no other TV besides that, no phones. It was basically like jail, except with even more restrictions. It wasn't full of hard ass's or anything though. There wasn't really a time limit on how long you were there, it was based on good behavior. I should say perfect behavior. They watched you like hawks, waiting for you to make one tiny mistake then they would fuckin bash you for it. By time I got there there were other kids that had been there for 2 yrs already, so I realized real quick the importance of good behavior. I didn't wanna be there any longer than I had to. The program was based on this shit called PPC positive peer culture. The basic idea is that if everyone around you is doing good things, you'll have do so too in order to be accepted. The same is true for the opposite: All the cool kids are doing drugs... you know the rest. It was fuckin brainwashing. Your only options for getting home were through graduating the program(absolutely perfect behavior, and I mean PERFECT, or as close as you can get only 3 people out of like 100 had done it by the time I got there) or waiting till you were 18 and you could walk out the doors. The average age was 16 in this place, 2 yrs is a lifetime at that age. So in order to graduate you had to cohere to the program rules. PPC works like this, if you see someone in your group is having a problem, you correct them, because your "helping" them. By correct I mean, you call them out on whatever they're doing wrong in front of everybody, because remember, you have to ask permission before you can do anything. This creates an unbelievable amount of drama. It's very circular and confusing, I'll break it down like this though: If you see someone doing something wrong you snitch on them, to make sure they are following the rules, because the only way to get outta there is to follow the rules perfectly. This upset quite a bit of people because they figured if they never got corrected the staff would think they are doing good. Why not just not say anything and act like everything is perfect? Well, we tried that, but it blew up in our faces, plus the staff are trained to look for that. And then nobody gets home at all. Its very hard for me to explain, but like I said its brainwashing and thats prolly got alot to do with it. You all police each other, and the best cop (or what many considered the biggest and most selfish asshole) was the leader of the group. I was that guy for a while. As you can imagine its very hard to get there, because you have to be almost perfect, call out all every mistake you see all day long every day, and there is alot of politics along the way because it is somewhat voted upon who the leader is. I've got it. We were all brainwashed to believe that the only way to get home was to graduate, in order to do so we had to make sure we followed the rules to T so we would call each other out to remind of us when were making mistakes and this way we'll remember and not make them in the future. That was a perfect PPC world, but some kids got really mad when you called them out cuz it would mess up their little act, so there was always that discomfort. I did what I had to do, but sometimes I kinda feel like a douche. I arose to the leader position faster than anyone else ever had, so that either makes me a badass or desperate to get home. I like to think a little of both, more of the first one. I just really wanted to go home. I don't think I've ever worked so hard for anything. It was just me there. I couldn't really trust anyone with my real thoughts, if I told anyone how much I hated that place and that I was just doing all this bullshit, being there little puppet, just to get home, I never would have made it. It sucks to pretend for a year. That place taught me that sometimes there are just things you never tell anyone even if you trust someone with your life. Gosh, talk about trust issues. This shits a deep as a well.

Fritzl

Thats kinda gross. I remember hearing about this story a couple years back, or whenever it happened. How are you just gonna rape your own daughter, and then have kids with her? Now this guy makes me sick. I'd kill myself if I did something like that. He should be stoned, and not by pot, by sharp heavy objects and stones. Life in prison's pretty bad, especially for rape and all that other shit he did, cuz he'll catch alot of shit for it in there. I've hard that the whole "bitch" thing in prison is only an American epidemic, but I dunno, maybe your boy Fritzl will find out. I've never been, so I wouldn't know. I'm sure they got a spot in hell for this guy, though, with jumbo pineapples. Imagination. Europeans are weird as shit man, for some reason everytime I hear this story it makes me think of those 2 horny Europeans from Super Troopers. I'm completely positive that every person from europe acts exactly like that. Which is why I plan on going there, drugs, sex (with women of course) and fast cars, what else do you need? Money I guess, and if your an old Austrian you need a sex slave in your cellar. This dude is just uncouth man.

Movie review

Psh, all those people are idiots man. Those 3 websites gave Crash an average rating of 78. Crash is much crunker than a 78. This says nothing about the quality of the movie, but more about to douche-ness of the critiques. I'm not going to lie, I took those ratings very personally. I really didn't even read that many reviews though, it was like blasphemy. The bad ones I did read though seemed bias and rude. It seemed as if some critics sucked as much emotion from the film as possible and just trashed it, much like the way I attempted to demonize The Boss. One critic said, in so many words, that the director captured only some of the emotions that the real epidemic portrays, but the racism is equally emitted by all characters, black, white, asian, or whatever. It also says "if what we see in Crash were statistically significant, that would mean that everybody in L.A. is being racist in every tense situation all day long, and it doesn't take much experience of life in the diverse big cities of this country to know that isn't right. The L.A. of Crash is a distorted scale model of the city that Haggis treats as if it were the city itself." (Alan Dale) Personally though, it's a movie. Dale does bring up a good point about how the movie is shot from a very realist, or naturalist point of view, yet the movie is unrealistically coincidental. But it's a movie, and of course the director was not portraying the actors in this film as proportional representatives of L.A. citizens. It's simply a story of how people interact with each other. Dale does go on to say that even though the movie was a few strides short of the masterpiece it was attempting to become, it was directed well.

Stuff

So I got a new car Friday. It's pretty sweet. 04 Grand Cherokee Special Edition. Its not a big deal or anything, its only fully loaded. I don't think I'm going to far when I say its a G ride. I'm gonna have to throw some bump in the trunk though. I want some of that shit that'll make me deaf by the time I'm 30, thats how you know if your crunk or not. Anyways, its 11:52 on a Saturday and I'm fucking blogging. I worked today for like the first time since December. Cleaned some pools. Neither I nor my buddy know how to drive a stick so we got to whip my bosses King Ranch 250 today. That thing is a G ride right there. Then after I worked I went back to my friends house and helped him put a new liner in his pool, then I came home and feel asleep for a little, now here I am. I should be out and about, whippin my mobile and honking at attractive womens, but I'm here. I can't drive my damn Jeep anyways, which pisses me off. I'll go ahead and divulge a secret, I got a DUI (don't drink and drive, and if you do, don't speed) when I was 17 and for some reason the insurance company is saying that I never got my license re-instated from that incident. Total bull man, I just got another new license like 2 months ago. So now its in my sisters name and shit, which kinda makes me think her and my mom are plotting against me to steal my car away from me. I'll rumble in the streets if they try any funny bussiness though. I keep it real man.

Death camp guy blog thing

First off, this guy totally represents for my death camp, Buchenwald. Now that that's outta the way, this guy is a flippin douche. I don't even know what he's blabbering on about in his silly little blog, but I sure as hell don't like it. I don't like his tone or demeanor either. I might fight this guy if I ran into him on the street. But seriously he does make a good point about the whole reality TV thing. I mean, did anyone really ever love New York? That chick is gross anyways if you ask me; she looks like a dog. I think the Sureal Life and all that with the old celebrities is pretty bad too. It must be kinda like the equivalent of a 10 year high school reunion for celebrities. I'm having trouble thinking about how to best explain that last sentence so just think about it for a minute. All the normal people tune in and compare how much better their lives are compared to that of former celebrities, talk about an ego boost. Fear Factor is an older show but it's a good example of what this dude was talkin about. I mean, people have eaten bugs and like bull penis and stuff, thats pretty gross. Shows do seem to be progressively evolving into weird carnival side shows, but I don't think it will get too crazy before some christian group feels the need to assert their authority. As far as this guys style goes, I don't like it. He comes off like too much of an old square, and he's not really that funny if you ask me. Perhaps he is not juvenile enough for my taste though. The guy makes it seem as if all reality TV is shit. Most of it is, but what about those diamonds in the dirt, such as The Pick Up Artist? If you don't know, The Pick Up Artist is a breakthrough show that all (85%) dudes watch in order to sharpen their game, though most would never admit it. It centers around like 10 or so losers who all seem have to very dried up salivary glands, which can make it quite difficult to spit game. They are all schooled by a hippie pimp who calls himself Mystery. Really though, this is another great example of what he was talking about. These guys on the pick up artist are displayed as total losers could never get a date without money, trying to learn how to woo hot chicks. We can all tune in and watch them humiliate themselves instead of us doing the same thing. Death Camp Divas sounds promising though, as long as its shot on location in my death camp.

Bloggin it up

Man, I've been blogging hard these past couple of days. Check my blog work. I'm a very sarcastic guy. Sometimes I'm so sarcastic people don't even realize it. It's small things like I'll look at people like I'm trying really hard to figure out what the hell is wrong with them (or like they're idiots) when they talk to me, and then when I hear satisfactory answers I just kinda say things like good stuff or right on and nod my head. If you didn't know me very well you wouldn't think much about it. Its really for my own amusement, but every now and then people get a kick out of it. I really like to talk shit to people and mess with them (especially when I've been drinking), in a funny way of course, so I guess thats my passive way of doing it. I do it so well people don't even notice. The best part about it though is when people kinda catch on and think I'm fucking with them, like they have a hunch, but it is too premature to act on. They kinda rear their head back and look at me very inquisitively because they don't know what to say. Then I just look at them with an even more intense "your an idiot" look, and let an awkward silence build before I stop. Unfortunately thats only happened a handful of times, you'd have to see me in action to know whats up. I kinda write for my own enjoyment, because most of the things I say are really stupid and inside jokes, (half the time after I post these things I feel like an idiot and fight with myself about whether I should take them down or not) and I don't really expect anyone to understand me, but I enjoy when other people like my stuff. I don't like to write boring things. It's boring. I believe people should enjoy what they're reading, so I attempt to make what I write enjoyable. My friend said I have a white-boy fro the other day, good stuff. Sometimes I brush all my hair back and fluff up the back a little and it looks like I have a righteous mullet. I'm really going for like Fabio style hair, but I feel like I would have to be much swoler than I am to pull that look off. It would be crunk though, especially while I'm cleaning pools. Hair flowing in the wind, all tan, and the small and flashys. My boss said he would fire me if I came to work in Speedo's but he lets me get away with small and flashys. I call them this because they are small, like the size of boxers and they come up like 3 or 4 inches above my knees, and they're very bright shades of red orange and blue, flashy. It's looks funny as hell when I wear them cuz I'm so tall, but the ladies love it.

crunk movie

Well, if I had to pick my favorite movie of all time I'd have to say Terminator 2: Judgment Day. I mean, its prolly the best movie ever made. But if I had to pick a crunk movie that everyone else should watch, I might have to say Crash. It won film of the year in 2006, I think. It's about like 6 or so people that live L.A. and how their lives are affected by racism. The cinematograhpy in Crash is pretty sweet. Instead of just cutting from scene to scene the camera would simply pan left or right or turn around onto the next scene. In this way it makes it seem as if all the characters are close by, or that it is a very small world. For example, one scene ends with the camera close up on a black Licoln Navigator and the next scene begins with the same close up on a different black Naviagator and the camera pans right and shows Terrance Howard's face. The cinematography in this movie is very effective because it seems to send a message. In my own opinion the camera work is saying that we are all very close to each other, whether we realize it or not. Think about it this way: how many times have you seen that one person walking around campus, or the city, or anywhere? You know what I mean, for some reason there is just that one person that you always see around. A complete and total stranger, but you recogonize and know that persons face, just because. Maybe that only happens to me, but I remember peoples faces pretty well, and it just blows my mind in how many places I see the same people, even if I'm in some random place. Funny story, like a year ago there was this girl that I always used to see at the G.A. State gym and we always seemed to catch each others eye. Anyways I was late to class like 2 weeks ago and I was in a hurry and I turned a corner and we walked right into each other. Small world. I digress. The actors did an excellent job also, even Ludacris. They capture the emotion very well and they unleash it even better. Crash really shows you how connected our lives are, even if it doesn't seem that way. It's one of those movies that makes you want to change your life. It has a very good message: we must all get along, cuz you never know when that total stranger you see all the time is going to help you out.

Dream job? Not exactly

If I could actually create my own job I would be sure to make sure that it is a simple job with high profit yields. By simple I mean doing little to nothing from day to day, or something that's easy and I enjoy doing in moderation with little or no deadlines and/or pressure. And by high profit yields I mean an butt load of money. My options are slim. My friend and I have often considered making funny T-shirts. One for instance might read "She's like my black momma" then underneath the words would be an image of your typical picturesque, sweet, caring, cookie baking, black grandmother. I imagine she would look much like The Oracle from The Matrix, or Tyler Perry's Madea.


Unfortunately, though, the market for such shirts is rapidly declining. To venture into such a field of business would never support the type of lifestyle I intend to live. The life of a moonshiner seems quite glamorous but I myself don't know how to create moonshine, and in order to produce it on a mass scale I would need a safe location and many supplies, and that would take alot of work. I'm not a fan of alot of work. I also don't like learning new skills, which explains why I have only had 3 actual jobs. My current boss is a prime example of where I would like to be. My boss owns a pool company and employs 4, although he has been considering adding a 5th to the team, and works about 3 days a week, sometimes 4. The days he does work he gets up about 7 or 8 sits around for a few hours and he may work for 3 or 4 hours and calls it a day. And those are only service calls, so if nothing ever breaks, he really never works, yet he makes at least 70,000 a year. Genius. The man ignores customer calls for weeks at time; no deadlines there. Also, he does little to no work from day to day; he really has perfected the system. Unfortunately there is a bit of school involved in owning a pool company, but water chemistry can't be that difficult if my boss could do it. So I would create a pool company near where I live and I would steal all my bosses customers because most of them are so fed up with his crap (avoiding/not returning calls, saying he will fix something within the week and not doing it for months, not ordering parts) that if it weren't for his low rates or personal ties they would have switched companies long ago. I would run a company like his except I wouldn't screw around when it comes to customer service, and I would run it much more efficiently so I would make more money, and I would not be as big of a douche as he is. Then I would also make funny T-shirts on the side, but not before going to shops I would attempt to sell them to and stealing and or ruining all the other funny shirts they have in stock. This would ensure the buyability of my product.